Really Messed Up, Take Time for YOURSELF!
Last July (2018), I was going through a very very stressful time - work related.
All my usual tools for reducing tension weren't working. No amount of exercise, self-talk, biking, cooking, hiking - nothing was alleviating the pressure build up. I made a decision to try mediation again, but a different form called TM or Transcendental Meditation.
I'm not a "humma-humma" person - chanting, drumming, singing, humming...just not my thing. TM appealed to me because, from what I'd read about it, there's no "humma-humma" stuff.
Learning TM required 4 consecutive trainings of 2 hours each plus a 1X weekly follow-up for 4 weeks. Since that time, I've been pretty consistent meditating at least once a day (2 is preferable) for 20 minutes at a time.
I let my commitment to self-care slide a bit in the past four months, but in June refocused myself each and every morning. The feeling of peace, calm, certainty and focus I have after session is truly remarkable. So much so that I take for granted the real power of these sessions.
Last night my dreams were filled with graphic design ideas for a project I'm working on. I got up at 4:30 (yes a.m.) and decided to skip my meditation prior to heading to the gym, and instead work on the project to try and get my ideas down.
What a mistake.
My agitation level was (and is as I write this) so high, I had a very difficult time focusing in spin class. I didn't enjoy the class...couldn't wait for it to be over...music bugged me...lights bugged me...couldn't wait to leave...I felt scattered and even anxious. And this is something I LOVE to do. The instructor is one of my favorites!
I'm writing this now - in my STILL agitated state - to remind myself just how very important it is to incorporate self-care. I'm replaying conversations I've had with my own clients who can't find one single hour out of 168 weekly for themselves...
I'm going to go meditate now. I'm going to relish the 20 minutes and reframe.
Take time for you. It matters.